So I’m nearing my first deadline – the first week of my strange project – and I haven’t budged yet. I’ve ticked off the following list of things to do instead, hoping to zero in on one by tomorrow.
1. As previously mentioned, Get a New Haircut – not just a trim. My hair right now reaches just below my shoulders. Most of the time, it’s tied back to keep pudgy little fingers from pulling clumps of it clean off my scalp. If I do decide to chop off the mane, I have to keep in mind that, one, the baby might not recognize me afterwards; two, the hubby might not recognize me afterwards; and three, my fingers are capable of only one kind of hairstyling and that is zero hairstyling.
2. Learn How to Pole Dance. This could be tricky because not only am I a hilarious dancer (read: two left feet), I also have the stamina of an anemic leaf. My friend, Christina Dy, teaches pole dancing (call 02-3926220 for classes in Makati or 02-9448075 for classes in Ortigas) but then I’m afraid friendship won’t be enough to turn me intoa graceful tigress onstage. On the other hand, maybe a shot or two of tequila before class could do the trick.
3. Bake with The Hooligan. Also known as My Daughter, The Hooligan is the only small person I know who doesn’t like cookies. I eat her share all the time. Once in a while, she gets a little domestic on me and says, “I want to bake a cake with you.” But faster than I can say measuring spoons, she changes her little mind and proceeds to chase her cats around the house. I used to bake a mean batch of sugar cookies with my cousin when we were small, and that’s one of the things I’d like to do with The Hooligan, too.
4. Learn How to Propagate Bamboo. The Hubby (who, from here on out will be known in this blog as The Hub) once suggested that, to propagate our bamboo plants, I cut a branch from the node and put it in fertilized water. I did and four days later, the branch had turned as brown and dusty as our arid garden soil. Should have known better than to take botanical advice from the man who hasn’t set foot on our garden in 10 months.
That’s it, so far. Starting small, you know. By week 2, I should be in the level of: “Cook a five-course dinner without hurting anyone.” By week 24, I expect to be aiming at: “Learn how to sail.” Stay tuned. And do give me suggestions on what cool new experiences would keep this project rocking.